I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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