Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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