I'm really into asian looking animals
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
