Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
