Have you finally orgasmed yet?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
