woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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