I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
