someone threw a dead crab at me
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
