there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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