Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
