His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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