Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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