I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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