who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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