I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
