Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
