We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
