Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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