i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
