That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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