so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
