whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
