ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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