I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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