What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
