There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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