remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
