Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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