I heard we made out
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
