I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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