Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
