Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
