we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
