A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize