do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
