I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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