I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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