before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
