im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It's like God shit irony all over that family
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i drank out of a bidet.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
