oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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