after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
