omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
