I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
