I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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