So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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