Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
