Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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