sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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