Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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