mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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