i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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