But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
