I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We named our party play list daddy issues
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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