I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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