My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
