make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
