Having a random hookup so left but love u
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
