Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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