come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
