Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
