I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
the raccoons are back...
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