and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i've created a new STD.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
