There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize