Bisexual people are plain selfish.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
