if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
