the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
