the condom got lost in my hair
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize