fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
